31 For 21: Day 20...Raising Children is Like...

In my opinion, raising children is like learning a foreign language.  There are similarities in the roots of many foreign languages, but that's where it ends.  The same applies to children.  There are "guidelines" for the reaching of milestones, but that's all they are...guidelines.  Much like the "exceptions" to the grammar rules, there are "exceptions" to all parts of child rearing.  I could cite many examples of how Andrew writes most of the "exceptions" in our lives, but there are a few that really stand out.  I know that Andrew is subject to developmental delays, but Andrew was my first child and I didn't really know what I was supposed to "expect" in terms of his development.

As soon as Andrew was born, I began receiving emails from BabyCenter.com every week.  These emails described what Andrew would typically be learning how to do that week.  I thoroughly read through these emails every week, delighting in the fact that Andrew was progressing and developing like a typical baby.  This kept up until Andrew was about 6 or 7 months old, when the gross motor tasks, such as crawling and pulling to stand, began to appear frequently.  Andrew wasn't crawling or pulling to stand; he was happy sitting in one place playing with his toys.  If he couldn't reach his "favorite" toy, he would select another one.  I grabbed the book that I had on gross motor skills for children with Ds, a book that I had yet to pick up since Andrew was developing typically up to that point.  I read with interest about the 2 types of children and learned that Andrew is an observer.  He prefers to look and watch and learn from everyone around him.  He doesn't seek out movement, but hopes that it happens without disrupting him too much.  Because of this, teaching Andrew to walk was a nightmare.  He cried through his therapy sessions for months until he finally learned to walk at 26 months.

Another exception to the rule was Andrew's first tooth.  Typically babies cut their first tooth between 4 and 7 months.  As Andrew approached his 11th month, I was still anxiously awaiting Andrew's first tooth.  Finally on a cool Thursday morning in November, Andrew and I were sitting with my friend Chris at a farmers' market.  Business was slow that morning, so we were chatting and catching up since we hadn't see each other in awhile.  Andrew was playing with us and he looked up at Chris with his toothless smile.  She saw something in his mouth and looked closer.  She said, "You didn't tell me that he cut his first tooth."  I looked at her kind of dumbfounded and told her that he didn't have any teeth yet.  She laughed at me and told me to feel his gums on the left side of his mouth.  Sure enough, I felt the sharp top of his first tooth!  I couldn't believe that I didn't even know he had cut the tooth.  Isn't a mom supposed to know everything about their child?  I had not even attributed his sudden crankiness and slight fever as signs that his first tooth was getting ready to make its entrance.

Fast forward one and a half years...Hailey was 9 months old and had 3 teeth in her mouth, the first appearing by 6 months.  She was also crawling, pulling to stand and cruising.  I knew that the "rule book" would not apply to Andrew, but I didn't even know what the rules were supposed to be.  Indeed, every child is different and every child develops differently.  The milestones are written as a range of ages.  They are guidelines that "most" children will follow.  So far, Hailey has met her milestones during the "typical" age ranges, but I ended up discontinuing my emails from BabyCenter.  Who needs guidelines, anyways?